_Myra_West_

, 12 min read

So, You're Insecure....

YouTube

I was just rollerblading, and I was thinking about insecurity and insecure people and how I want to record a whole video on that. And actually, I’ve wanted to for the last many years, ever since I started the channel, because some of the things that I’m most passionate about, that I like to talk about, and that I think are important are

Because all of those things are things that I struggled with, and I want to help other people who are going through exactly what I went through.

I was just looking at a bug, and as I was rollerblading, I was just thinking about how insecure people are brought up to believe that they are toxic people, and they are told by social media and society and other people and just all of this messaging to them to make them believe that they are the problem and other people are supposed to avoid them and that they are toxic people and that they are to be avoided and run away from and considered as red flags.

Insecure people

I think people, who are insecure, will know what I’m talking about. We are, and I am one, and I was one, and I was a lot, lot, lot worse when I was a teenager. And I’m really sick of that. I’m sick of insecure people being made to feel worse about themselves, worse, and shoved even lower by other people and society by being told that there’s something wrong with them.

And it’s just so backwards and such a cycle because it continues the issue. Like, somebody grows up like insecure, to me, it is basically a deep sense that you are unworthy of even existing. You’re unworthy of being around other people. You’re not worth as much as other people. I think it’s completely associated with having an inferiority complex, which basically is just feeling insecure to ever or inferior to absolutely everyone else around you, feeling lesser than and feeling like they have all the power and you have no power, and you’re very helpless. And it’s a really dark, helpless, sad, lonely place to be. You’re so lonely, and you self-isolate.

You’re insecure. You don’t think you’re worth friendships or love or to be around others. And then on top of that, you’re told that you are to be avoided, that you are a problematic person, and that people have to avoid you, which just makes you feel worse about yourself. It makes you hate yourself. I hated myself, oh gosh, that got deep, when I was a teenager because of that, because I felt like I was the problem.

So, I want to make this video that is focused on insecure people and what they’re going through. It’s about them. It’s not about, “Hey, healthy people, don’t date insecure people. Don’t be friends with insecure people. If you notice that your friend or someone you’re dating is insecure, run, run away, because they’re only going to be a problem.”

Instead, I want to focus on the actual insecure person, the other person, and talk about what they’re going through and what they’re suffering from and how to help them and how to help themselves. That’s the thing.

The coolest thing about a lot of this is that you, you have the power to help yourself, not in every instance, like there are instances of mental health where you do need to seek help, but I really think most of my issues growing up and, yeah, just growing up, a lot of my mental health issues came from me feeling helpless, and it made me feel like I wasn’t in control of myself and I wasn’t in control of my own life. And since feeling more powerful in myself, I’ve gained so much more confidence, and I’ve felt so much more self-love, and I feel more capable of living life and surviving.

So I want to show other people who have these deep insecurities and self-worth issues, I want to help them find their own power, which I know it sounds so cliché, but it’s actually one of the secrets. It’s to find the power within themselves and to fully accept themselves because, as I said, society makes us feel unaccepted and like we’re such, such a huge problem. And like, I feel like you have to learn how to accept yourself and love yourself and realize that you shouldn’t and don’t have to be ashamed of insecurity or feeling inferior.

You don’t have to hate yourself. And once you get a good grip on that and you start to feel more love and acceptance towards yourself, then that’s when you can take more ownership over your actions and start to work on actually how your insecurity is affecting others.

Insecurity and dating

I don’t want to glaze over that, because I know why people say that insecurity is kind of toxic because it can, if you don’t have a handle on it, it can hurt other people, or it can cause harm or be toxic.

For example, if an insecure person is dating, they can feel insecure in their relationship and they don’t feel like they’re loved or like their partner cares about them. So maybe they’ll start flirting with other people or tell their partner,

“Yeah, so-and-so was totally flirting with me. Like, I can tell so-and-so really likes me, and he was like trying to get with me,”

Just to make the partner jealous. Those kinds of things are the negative ways that insecurity can impact other people. But I swear to God, that’s not where you should start. If you’re insecure, if you struggle with this, if you struggle, you have to focus, I know it sounds like self-centered, but you have to focus on yourself first and figure out how to help yourself or seek help and to grow in your own personal sense of self-love, confidence, and acceptance. And before I talk too long, I have to add that.

Accepting insecurity

So what has helped me like crazy about being insecure is not so much to fight the insecurity and be like,

“Yeah, that’s not me. Like, I am confident. I love myself.”

And just shove down the insecurity. For some reason, as I have been pointing out in the video, we are taught to be so ashamed of ourselves and to hate ourselves, basically because we are the toxic people. But the thing that has helped me so much is to remove the shame and embarrassment and humiliation, or whatever you want to call it, around feeling insecure and being insecure and being that person. And the way that I’ve done that is just to tell myself and talk to myself, like,

“Yes, I have insecurity. I have more insecurities than other people. I am a very insecure person. I have inferiority complex. I do feel less than others. I do feel unworthy. I do feel all of these feelings.”

And I just speaking them and saying them to myself, myself, and accepting it right now. It’s not like I’m identifying as these harmful things, so I am going to be that way forever. It’s more just accepting where you are.

I’ve finally learned or been realizing that self-acceptance and self-love is about accepting who you actually are, not trying to change it. And like, for the longest time, I was trying to fight the fact that I was insecure, or that I had less confidence than others or that I felt unworthy.

And instead of

I’ve finally been just accepting who I am right now. And that doesn’t mean that I’m going to be that same person in a couple of months or next year or whatever. It’s just about constantly accepting who you are.

But other people, all of you, everybody who watches this video, to stop talking about how toxic and horrible and awful and harmful insecure people are and instead focus on the people in your life. And I know there are those people. Everybody knows one. Everybody knows the insecure person. And just focus on them for a change.

I’m not saying like, give them a free pass because I do understand the harmful effects that an insecure person can have. But you’re not ever going to solve the problem. All you’re ever going to do if you’re talking about how toxic and horrible insecure people are, all you’re going to do is perpetuate insecure people hating themselves, hating themselves. That doesn’t do anything. We have to actually focus on the insecure people, talk about

Then insecure people, if you’re listening, there’s a lot of us, a lot, learn, try to just make an effort to decide that there’s actually nothing wrong with you, as in being insecure is okay. Most of us, or not most, but a lot of us, are seriously horrendously insecure, and it’s okay. It doesn’t make you less of a person. It doesn’t automatically make you toxic if you’re aware of it and you can hold yourself accountable for how you’re treating and talking to others and you don’t let it like come out. Or if it does come out, that you explain to others what is going on, like,

“Oh, I’m so sorry I just said that because I was feeling insecure and I was trying to make you feel jealous, and I’m really sorry, and I’m gonna try to work on that, or I will work on that.”

It’s all okay. We’re human, and there’s nothing wrong with you, and being insecure is normal. It’s part of being human. And if you start accepting that you are insecure right now, I promise you, it will lead to self-love and it will lead to more confidence.

I want to do a whole video on confidence too, because I finally have been learning that confidence starts with accepting your flaws. Like, for 20-something years, I’ve been fighting all of my flaws and what I consider flaws were like

I was fighting, fighting, fighting. And finally, just accepting those things about myself and being like,

“Yes, I am insecure. I do struggle with self-love. I am not a confident person. I am weird. I am very awkward. I’m socially awkward. I’m not outgoing. I feel weak and afraid most of the time.”

If I accept those things, like,

“Yes, this is where I am right now,”

I’ve learned that I can be confident in my flaws. That’s so cool. I can be confident in my flaws. You can be confidently insecure. And I know that’s true because I am. I’m confidently insecure, and you can be confidently awkward, and I am that as well, or I’m just this year, like I’ve been letting my weirdness and awkwardness out.

And when I’m with other people, sometimes I’ll even just say it,

“Yeah, I’m a really awkward person, haha.”

Lucia just did it just there. And just voicing that you are awkward or voicing that you are insecure, it gives you power and it takes away shame.

And if you’re any of my family members who have stumbled across my channel, I want you to stop watching or turn off the video, or you shouldn’t have ever clicked on the video, and also do not watch any of my other videos because this is way more personal than I’ve ever gotten on the channel, probably, and in real life. I wish that my family had never found my channel. Anyway, please tell me if anything I said was helpful.

I’ve actually recorded in this video a lot of the things that I’ve been thinking the last year, and some of the things that I’ve wanted to put into words and put into a video. The last year, I’ve wanted to say this forever, but as with everything else, I’ve always been waiting until I felt ready. I’ve been waiting until I feel like I know exactly what words to say.

Viewer demography

I want to script it out. I never script anything, but I have that desire to make everything perfect. But you know what? Stop waiting. Just say it. I bet this could help one person, and I swear, my target audience in my channel this whole time has always been teenagers, and funny enough, I have the opposite. I think I mostly appeal to older people.

My demographic is mostly like late 20s, 30s, 40s, 50s. That’s kind of the demographic, but I ideally want to reach teens, because that’s where I was. I was a

person.

Yeah, that’s a weird place to end the video, but I’ve gotten a lot better, and that’s why I want to share. I want to share the journey. It’s also good to look back on.

Also, I’m going to read my journal entries at some point. It’s really dark, but I’d love to go through my high school journal entries, just a couple, to show where I was mentally and how far I’ve come. It’s pretty extraordinary. And it all started with self-acceptance and self-love.

Alright, thank you for watching 17 minutes. I am learning that I can talk a lot when it’s something that I really care about, and I do care about this. So I’m gonna let you go.

Please comment, like, anything that stood out to you because it’s my favorite thing. It’s my favorite kind of comment to hear what I said that resonated with you. And bye.