, 3 min read
Stop Trying to be Someone Else! Embrace your Natural Self
Here's a thought I recently had that I want to record. I've been thinking about it today as well. But for the longest time, for many years, during my personal growth journey, I've been trying to force myself to be super outgoing and like, smiley and bubbly and extra.
Because this was the connection I made: I was thinking, "I feel like everyone loves those people." I made this huge connection that the reason I wanted to be that way was simply because I felt like that's what people love and that's what people want. And I have—uh, my roommate actually is that person. She's outgoing, bubbly, loud, vivacious, laughing all the time. And people do like her; they think she's super fun. So I always wanted to be that way, even before I met her.
But I finally made this connection that me, personally, my favorite people are actually people who have a personality that is more even and very chill and very cool and like, not smiling or laughing a lot and just like, very chill. That's my favorite personality; that's what I find most attractive in men, and I'm finding that I love women that way, too. I like the girls that I connect the best with are people who have personalities similar to my own, who are more like — I don't want to say flat, but kind of flat. That's just how I come across. And so I finally decided to just relax and stop trying to be that person that I'm not at all naturally and to just embrace the way that I normally come across.
So I've been interacting with the world as myself. As in, I go to a coffee shop and I order a coffee, and I put zero effort into like, "Hi, how are you?"
You know, all I do is like, I don't know, I'm just myself. I do everything. I act the way that I naturally act. And the funny thing is, I've found that I've gained confidence. I have gotten more confident, so I can say things how I want.
I make dry jokes, and when I make dry jokes, people think I'm funny. So it's just so dumb that I was trying to be someone I wasn't this whole time. So I'm embracing me, the real me, the me that I completely rejected for years and years. And I finally realized that the coolest people are people who have a personality like me, the people that I think are so cool. And I just always disregarded my own opinion. Like, I was like,
"Oh, it doesn't matter what I like. It doesn't matter if I think that people are cool when they're chill and like, more flat and even, and dry humor and all that."
I was like,
"What matters is what people love and what people want."
And what people love and want, apparently, was vivacious, laughing, open, outgoing, loud people who smile all the time.
But yeah, that's so cool. That was a very huge turning point for me. And I've talked to other people about this, and actually, they connected to it as well. So if you find that you're suppressing your real self to try to be more loved or liked, try to just like take a day where you put in zero effort, zero effort to be anything other than what you actually are. And just do like a little experiment. I would say do it for a week, see how you feel. Decide that you're gonna just accept you. You're just gonna accept that this is how you are. It's not bad; it's totally okay. Embrace the awkwardness instead of like, feeling ashamed of how awkward I am. So at some point, maybe even on the screen, I don't know, I'll list my awkward celeb heroes that showed me that you can be cool and liked and funny and all of that and be, and embrace your awkwardness.